 "" "Reflections" by Jose Madrigal
[What Follows] are some brief reflections on the character and values of our dad and your grandfather Agustin Madrigal. Often times, we fall into the trap of dwelling on the negative qualities of a man, but it is important to point out that he never had a dad to emulate. He did not have any standards to measure his action by except what he learned in the school of hard knocks. The fact that he supported himself since he was a small child engrained in him values associated with hard work, almost to an extreme. He did not know what leisure time was and consequently never learned to relax, to take his family for vacations, to kick back and rejuvenate the body and soul. Everything was based on the outcome of work: the strength of character, the financial worth of a man, the level of respect from friends and associates. Without a formal education he became wary and suspicious of those that were educated. He learned to trust very few people because of the environment he grew up in. Poverty taught him to guard his possessions with care. He was always very self-conscious of his uneducated status and took great pride in the fact that he taught himself to read and write. His penmanship was perfect-resembling the old calligraphy style. I think he always wanted us to get an education but he never really knew how to communicate this to us because he felt that we would ignore the work ethic along the way and that could just not happen. He worked hard on his verbal communication to explain things in the most simplistic manner possible. His anger management got in the way of his communication with his kids so those of us who wanted to communicate with him had to pick the right moments. We learned this by watching our mom and how effectively it worked. Some of the kids did not have the patience to wait and approach him and wait for his anger to de-escalate and some of the kids kept their anger pent up and channeled it in other way. The value of a dollar was exemplified by his frugality. Even though he did not have much money, he always prided himself in not owing anyone money. He was one of the very few financially solvent men we knew. There are those of us who never approached our dad to really tell him what we felt for fear that his anger would work against us. Some of us are dealing with this baggage today in dealing with our own kids. In terms of communication, I can say that we did not have a good role model in emulating him. I try to dwell on the positive things that he contributed such as his level of responsibility for the welfare of his family. He was a kind and generous man to those in need. He took in orphan relatives into his family and raised them as his own. He adored his mother and supported her as no ther son did and always told us to do the same with ours. I can honestly say that toward the end of his life he did a lot of introspective thinking and I could tell by his emotions that he wanted to say things of endearment to his family but he just did not know how. He was a man of his times. A macho man who did not stay true to his wife and hopefully we have learned from that example not to do the same. I do not know of any other man who worked harder than our dad. His hands were so callused that he did not even have to wear gloves to avoid slivers. I always wanted to take a picture of those hands to exemplify what the work ethic meant to him. If you survey the rest of my brothers and sisters, you will probably get some varied opinions about his character but again, reflecting on the positives, these are my thoughts. Perhaps, others in our family would like to add to these comments?
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